I will be happy when.... (fill in the blank).
I'll be happy when the kitchen is clean! Then I turn around and find a giant, sticky jam smudge on the fridge! And yes...my children are in their 20s...and YES! there is still sticky jam residue on my fridge.
I'll be happy when the laundry is finished. Then I turn around and find a very nasty, smelly, dirty towel hidden somewhere. Ugh!
I'll be happy when I lose 50 pounds. I've said this for the past 20 years. About 6 weeks ago I actually achieved this milestone and it totally messed with my head. First of all, losing that weight was wonderful and deserved celebration but the truth is I still have about 40 more pounds to go to reach my ideal weight. UGH! So just like finding that nasty hidden towel or that jam stain, my journey isn't over. And to be honest, I've been fighting depression ever since I hit that minus 50 mark! Really???!!! Yep! Why??? Because its hard work and I want it to be over. However, my yoga instructor told me just the other day that I need to learn to enjoy the journey. She was just another in the long list of people who have suggested I start a blog.
Enjoy the Journey! This has been on my mind a lot...probably because I have heard it so often recently. I think its an area I really want to work on. Okay, let's be honest...its an area I NEED to work on. But how do I learn how to enjoy the journey??? This is the ultimate question. How indeed?
Suddenly somewhere between Friday September 9, 2011 and today, Sept 11, 2011 a light bulb turned on for me. It started on Friday. I was attending a Time Out For Women here in Anchorage. I'll be making more posts on that later. I got there early to secure a good spot for my mother in law, 2 sister in laws and me. Then there was time to wander around before the event started. One of the sponsors had a display about digital scrapbooking and turning the layouts into hard bound books. I looked at the samples and visited with one of the sales reps. I said I've never digi scrapped and honestly I have far too much paper, ink and embellishments to go digital. She explained that she had a big garage sale and sold all her stuff and then started digi scrapping. And then the crucial words: "You can make a whole scrapbook in just a couple of hours rather than a couple of months. You just drag and drop!"
Whoa! Hold on Hannah! I like my paper. I like the smell of it and the feel of it. I like to cut it, tear it, ink it, crumple it, punch it, glue it, turn it into flowers, stars, snowflakes and fans. I like to layer it and slowly see a page come to life. I want each of my layouts to be completely unique. No two alike. I want them to each be a work of art. I love every step to the process. I love shuffling through my photos and choosing the one to scrap this day. Oh no! It starts before that! I love taking the photos and collecting the memories of persons, places and things I LOVE and I want to remember. Then I love spending time with these photos. Sometimes it feels like I get to spend a day with a very dear loved one who is now far away. I don't want to drag and drop and get massive quantities of scrapbooks finished and on the shelf to collect dust so I can say "Its done!" and move on to something else. I want the process to linger. I want to enjoy and treasure every moment of it. I like to enjoy this journey!
Oh my gosh! I have a journey I enjoy!!! I actually know how to enjoy one of the journeys in my life! I quite literally just realized it this morning!!!! Now...can I take that knowledge of Journey Enjoying and transfer it to my new healthy lifestyle? I think I just might be able to do that. After all, even when I do get these next 40 pounds off, I will still hopefully have about 35 more years to work at keeping it off. Certainly that's going to be a journey in itself! I might as well stop stressing about when the weight training will be over because clearly it won't be over until I'm dead and gone. So, I guess learning to enjoy it the way I enjoy scrapbooking would be a good thing!
So thank you to all you Enjoy the Journeyers out there! I think I'm going to try to join your ranks!
Wendy, this is wonderful! Great start to your journey.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Wendy! You are an inspiration. Keep it up girl!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog start! That's exactly how I feel about digital -- I started scrapping in part so I could have a hands-on, computer-off hobby. I wanted to do something tactile and personal, and have to wash my hands when I was done!
ReplyDeleteoh perfect analogy about the journey and paper scrapping!!! Thats totally it for me too. I struggled thru a couple of digi layouts and it was just frustrating for me and not at all the experience that I enjoy. I am not all that great at the shadows and things either.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the weight thing. I was set back big time after losing my stepdad so I get to start almost from square one and although I don't get depressed at all, I am a bit lazy about starting up again because it takes so much time and effort. Also hitting that goal isn't being "done" for any of us, its just a goal. You still have to work to maintain so it really is just a journey. Great blog start.
Yah, now we can blog, love your first post, well done girl and who wants to Digi scrap, scrapping is for playing with paper and other stuff, take care, Doreen x
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate!! I feel like I've spent so much of my life thinking I will be happy when... and this last year of practicing yoga regularly has helped me to live my life more in the present moment than in my head somewhere:) There really is something quite amazing to this yoga thing!!
ReplyDeleteWay to go starting a blog, Wendy! A very interesting post. Yes, it is depressing to know that the weight-loss journey will never end. I think it has to be a change in attitude for us to be able to keep it off for life. I need to do a lot of thinking about how to change my attitude in this regard and stop feeling sorry for myself.
ReplyDeleteFor a minute, I thought you were going digi, and then I breathed a sigh of relief when I read your perspective about it being a journey! There's no need to be "caught up." It's all about enjoying the process--the journey!